- Jerk like me-

well excuse me young lady, can i buy you a drink?
or at least a cup of coffee, just to ease the pain
well i couldn't help noticing the tears in your eyes
and i said to myself robert, are you going over or not
you know i'd really like to help you
give you a shoulder to cry on
and by the way was that your red porsche out there in the lot?

they bartender, set up some more drinks say
do you take credit cards? i don't seem to have any change
oh no i couldn't take your money that wouldn't be right
well ok if you insist, but let's move on to martini's now
didn't i see your mother in the newspaper the other day?
opening some hospital wing that see dedicated to the world

you go to school to learn arithmatic
you go to church to learn how to sing
you might not like it but you'll have to agree
you're going to learn something from a jerk like me
i'm a creep, i'm a jerk go ahead and watch me work
i'm a jerk, i'm a creep i'm not even nice when i'm asleep
you might not like it but you'll have to agree
girls like you fall for jerks like me

oh pardon me i didn't realise my hand was on your knee
it just slid up on it's own, and my oh my isn't it warm
i don't usually go back to a girl's house on the first date
but in your case i'll make an exception and stay for a week
and i'll only sleep with you if you really want me to
i wouldn't want anyone saying i was just after your dough

and now the honeymoon is over and the boat is in the bay
and both of us are happy because we don't talk anymore
and remember the wedding agreeement we said we didn't need
that means your money is mine and well god forbid
if you should have a little accident oh what a loss
and i'd live the life of reilly for the rest of my life

© lyrics by Robert Tijuana 2000